“The punchline is machismo.”

February 28, 2011 Leave a comment

Too lazy to go to gym yester-evening. Too lazy to write something inspired now.


Started with left stance and did 10 Jabs, 10 Hooks and 10 Uppercuts, all as fast and hard as I could do ’em and all cut off hard. I then immeditaly did the same for the right side, rested/stretched about one minuted and repeated all this another 5 times.

Moving on I did Jab-Cross-Front kick, then Hook-Crosspunch-Full sidekick. Switch stance, repeat. All in all I did this ~10 times per side.

Next was high side kicks and roundhouse’s, I saved these for last since my hamstrings seem to be easily offended at the moment and I wanted them all warmed up and nice. I did about 30 high sides on each side and maybe 15 round’s on each side. I was planning to stop there but apparently the sudden violent exercises let me tap into some souce of energy that I had collected over the weekend, so I did the punching series again, although this time I was a lot less explosive.. I kept it going with variations on punch-punch-kick combos and completely ruined my biceps femoris with crescent-kick-> sidekick, I then proceeded to go flying through the room and just missing the TV while trying a jab->cross->crescent->sidekick->roundhouse combo a few times. I succeeded like five out of six, although maybe my form was pretty crappy.

For cool down I played Fighters Uncaged, which is a full movement fighting game for Kinect. Some of the motions are poorly traced in the game and the design & voice acting is terrible, but it’s pretty satisfying to stand around in your living room kicking, punching and blocking in the air and seeing you digital fists and feet connect with a computer-controlled bad guy. I am a computer-tech-guy so it is extra nice for me.

Oh, and yes; my abdominals, hamstrings and especially my lats are completely fried today. Also, picture related; it’s where I learned to fight, and to train like my health and mind depended on it. I honestly feel I became a better person both for myself and others after having trained under the guys over there.

Swedish Winter

February 8, 2011 Leave a comment

Feels like it is in it’s last throes, at least in stockholm. I don’t know how the guys upp in the north are doing, but down here it’s mostly mush and mud. Not very beautiful at all, no.

I am hardly awake so this post will not contain lame tries at wit or attempts to glorify the macho style of our training. Suffice it to say that last night me and the beardface (more bearded than ever) went out to my fathers house in the woods and went a bit viking. While I ignited the sauna felix got to work sledgehammering out our tire from layers of ice and snow, and once it was loose we realized that it was quite full of ice too. Being all kinds of awesome we got on to digging out our oil-drums and then combining the tire and drums for all kinds of brutal exercises, and it wasn’t long before we removed our heavy clothing and did our tiresome work in tanktops, the cold air refreshing our lungs.

Anyways, the workout went fine, and the sauna was awesome. But more importantly last night we realized how awesome this kind of exercise is all over again, and I for one want more; as I write this everything from my calves up, all the way to the small muscles in the back of my neck is aching. I feel as though I got into a fight with a tractor..  So, we’re back baby-eh!

Also, a pretty nice exercise we improvised at the gym, best done with three guys, follows:

  • Occupy a squat rack, put a bar about halfway up from you knees to you hips.
  • Get a kettlebell, you’ll have to figure out a reasonable weight for yourself (we used 30 kilos or something like that)
  • Place yourself and another guy each on one side of the bar.
  • Put one hand behind your back, squat a bit and grab the kettlebell with your free hand, lift it over to his side.
  • Wait for him to do the same and then repeat with you other hand.
  • When one of you gets tired, switch with the last guy and just keep going until you never want to see a kettlebell again.
  • Get started with your regular gym-routine, you already spent like twenty minutes off-topic  x)

Of course dumb-bells work too, but it don’t feel right. Also make sure you do squat sufficiently so as not to put all the strain on you bent back, and always try to maintain a straight and powered posture, don’t hunch, if you start failing too much just switch to the next guy and to some push-ups or jumps while waiting..

It’s On

October 12, 2010 1 comment



“The darkness of the night is of a quality only found in the swedish forest. There are no wolves here, but if there were they would fit right in. It was at least 25 minutes since the dirty yellow lights of the track flickered off, leaving the night alone to reclaim its territory.

Feet are thumping over the semi-frozen ground, flailing strands of beard disturbing the heavy mists. As we run we fantasize about really bad-ass stuff, but we talk trivia, trying and succeeding in dismissing the stress the run puts on our bodies; In reality we are just a bunch of regular guys out for run, but in our minds we are large bearded vikings on the march home from an epic battle, running towards gladsheim to feast on the flesh of särimner.”


This is but a slight excerpt of the endless chapters of noir-literature my mind concocts whenever i am engaged in physical excercise. I decided to share this with you because why the hell not. Anywho, the point of this post is to update the world and its inhabitants on whats going on with us brutes/beards. We are now very much active again, i know i said we would be loong ago but yeah, i was wrong. First of all; the running. I am personally only comfortable running about 5-7,5 km at a time because of the horrible shape this summer has left me in. The beardface and another manchild called Mr Eriksson however are running 10 kilometers most day and now feel ready to start packing some weights when running, hopefully i will catch up soon.

We also started up with the gym again, and exampled of our hybrid-style workouts will come as soon as we can unite around any one system… I myself am looking at hyper-adaptive cycling as the next thing to try. This is something i found in the articles and work of Jeff “The muscle nerd” Anderson,  and the idea is to constantly change the tempo and load of you workouts as well as the rate you allow your body to recover. Hopefully this will force the body to maintain a constantly high anabolic state, since it cannot adapt to such fluctuating circumstances.

When i manage to get into the routine and see some results, i’ll let ya know.. Until then [insert cliché until-then phrase here].

Summer hiatus thingie..

July 6, 2010 3 comments

So we havent posted in a while.

Fear not, we have not managed to get ourselves killed wrestling a bear or anything, we have just been busy with summer and summer-related stuff. So what does summer mean for our training? Well its been less of the usual, a lot less. However we have  been playing a lot of soccer and also partying endlessly (which can be considered excercise). We intend (meaning I intend for all of us) to get back to raging out in the forest and so on as soon as this damn heat is finally defeated by more traditional swedish climate (rain, hail.).

Some random news and tidbits:
  • Felix is no longer a beardface due to a horrible horrible woman snipping of part of his beard, thereby forcing him to shave it all or look like a fool. He pretends not to care but he is actually crying inside.
  • I am now the new beardface, although my beard is stubbornly refusing to cover part of my chin, and is for some reason red at the chin rather than brown.
  • Felix is now my neighbour, and therefore by extension so is mickemat who is some combination of roommate and cleaning lady for felix.
  • I recently made it for four days (yes, physically active days) on nothing by vitamin supplements, universal nutrition’s freeze-dried liver tabs, chrome-sups and alchohol. I wasnt even hungry after four days, i just figured maybe i should eat.

So uh, i’ll just get back to ya’ll when i actually have something to say. Or when i happen to get bored again.

Enjoy the summer.

Food sample!

May 24, 2010 Leave a comment

So, we have gotten into the habit of training frequently and heavy. Therefore nutrition is way more important than it was a couple of years ago, and I plan on sharing some examples of my cooking for the world to judge.

So… Believe me when i say that I/We are not good at controlling our urges; every other weekend our dark side get the better of us and we collapse in front of the xbox with some friends, some dark beer and some pizzas. In the meantime though we try to make up for this sporadic intake of crappy food by at least giving our body and minds all they needs to develop.

So here is the sample as promised:

Weekend leftovers:

One Third of plate:

These are topped with soy and “raging bull” sauce.

  1. Egg Noodles.
  2. White Rice.
  3. Bacon on top.

Another Third of plate:

This is a hodge-podge mix kinda thingie, containing

  1. Eggs
  2. White beans, kidney beans
  3. Vegs; Carrots, ‘shrooms, onions, corn, asparagus.
  4. Mashed tomatoes.

Last Third of plate:

Meat, meat, meat!

  1. Beef teriyaki.
  2. Sweet Chili chicken.
  3. “kotlet” Bacon, which is thick bacon slabs with way less fat and way more taste.

On the side i eat some pumpkin seeds, and drink mineral water, out of coke and beer :|  These things werent originally meant to be eaten together; as i said, leftovers!

So there you have it. Let the hammer of judgement smack me in the face if you will.

Light tire workouts.

May 21, 2010 Leave a comment


So because of some temporal scheduling malfunctions and the uncalculated factors of unforeseen events yesterdays physical workout deviated from the planned course.

It didnt happen.

We had no time for the regular workout, so what we did was we went to an auto-repair shop in åkersberga and grabbed four of the heaviest car tires we could find, they were unfortunatly no more than maybe 18-24 pounds but it worked out nice.

These are the excercises we made up:

  • Tire Horse: Pick up tire, throw tire at friend / Catch returning tire in any way possible without letting it reach the ground. You can either hold the tire flat in front of you looking through the hole with one hands at each side, or you can hold it in one palm, stabilizing with the other hand and throw it in a putting movement. As its gets easier, try doing the raising of the tire as well as the putting movement and the catch using only one hand/arm.
  • Relentless Rolls: Competitive. Stack a few tires beside yourself, then with your buddy some 5 meters away, start rolling the tires towards him. His job will be throwing them back to the stack as fast as, or faster, then you can roll them. Do this until one person buckles and falls over, then switch places.  NOTE: This can get out of hand easily, after a few minutes we were more or less just throwing the tires at each others faces and shouting.
  • Overhead Stacking: Co-op. One person holds a tire flat over his head with an even and wide grip. The other person can then, depending on your balance either throw or put another tire on top of it. And another and so on until it all goes falling over. Lots of large adjusting movements are required to remain upright, so besides the obvious shoulder stress this also trains your core.
  • Tire Launching: Put the tire upright on the ground in front of you, take a snatch-like postiion holding your hands on the lower sides of the tire. Explode up and forward, porpelling the tire into the air. See how far/high you can get, and maybe use a teammate as a “Golf flag”.
  • Tire Bounce: Take a grip around any point of the tire so you are holding it out in it, put it up behind your head, resting on your back (this position should so it could roll down you back if you let it go, you are gripping the inside of the tire). Then crunch your abdominals, pull with your lats and focus all your strength slamming the tire forward into the ground making it bounce up towards your buddy who quickly repeats the same movement.
  • Tire Race: Put the tire flat on the ground, then put you hands on it and try to run/push it forward. How much of your bodywight you put on the tire makes a big difference here, so its a cardio/strength/stability excercise. Works on grass, probably not so good on asphalt. Oh, and the way we used this was for racing the tires around, and eventually finishing it off with a chicken race.

We did lots of other stuff too, but these were to most structured excercises. We found that working out with tires was very simple and pretty fun too. We got very dirty but hey, careface…

These excercises gave a good workout of the entire body, and they are great for sharpening general motor-skills and teaching yourself to handle heavy impacts and lifting stuff at odd angles. Another plus is that we look completely bonkers doing this in the sunset at a schoolyard grass plain, and we like looking like idiots and/or maniacs.

Try it out, its fun!


May 20, 2010 Leave a comment

So, the tuesday workout was done in a way which is best described with the word “mneh”.
To make up for that we will do better today, today is tire-flipping day! (Also; tire-dragging)

Quick summary of tuesday:

In about 50 minutes of active workout we crammed these sections in:

1, Pre-exhaustion. We carried oil-drums at moderate speed out to the clear-cutting and then across a 50m patch of horrible swamp-like terrain.

2, Torture. Three part excercise, one person did loads with and oil drum, one did long jumps onto high rock, one did short, fast jumps onto the lower part of the rock. We did this for about 5 minutes, and then cycled for three sets.

3, Functional training. For about 15 minutes we all cycled between handstands and shot-puts (with large rock).

4, Explosive. We found a way larger rock, maybe three meters tall and simply ran up it from one end, turn around and ran back over it to the starting point. We did this at maximum possible speed in immmediate succesion of each other for about 10 minutes.

5, Post-exhaustion. We carried the oil-drums back to the house, at a higher speed this time.

So, whats the progress? Well, this time we had no problems jumping backwards of the rock onto the tree-stump we use as starting point. We didnt fall, we were quite secure in our footing. Our handstands are improving fast, although none of us is very good at walking on them yet..

It wasnt all good though, we were all in a bad shape, tired, malnourished and so on. We should have planned better, we definetly saw some lack of commitment and some heavy fatigue.

But enough about tuesday, today we will make up for it by putting brutes strength to work on moving our big-ass tire and whatever else we can figure out to do. By the way, if anyone wonders about our seemingly random workout patterns then rest assured they are intentional. We believe that any excercise pattern, however hard and murderous, will soon force the body to adapt. This means less weardown on muscle, and thereby also less recovery gains for your muscles. If you want to know more, read some of Jeff Anderssons material on “Hyper-adaptive cycling”.

Btw, did you see our box.net widget on the right side of the blog? Pictures will be popping upp there now an then, keep an eye out!

Cheers from åkersberga.